I talked to a counselor today. Not a mental health counselor, but an academic counselor. I didn't plan on it, I just felt this intense stress about missing the exam and classes, and then I realized I could drop that class, but since I just re-applied for this semester, I wasn't sure if that was a good idea.
I think I'm definitely blessed. I think despite my mistakes, God guides me in some way. Because a lot of significant events happened today.
That counselor I met today was probably the best counselor I've ever met at school. She was very straight with me, but she didn't step on me or put me down. I've always felt like this broken clock who felt irreparable beyond belief, yet whom others believed wasn't doing too bad. Because I continued to tick, but I knew the gravity of my affliction because I would miss minutes and hours. But I wouldn't tell anyone really.
But today, it felt like someone had finally looked at me as the broken clock I knew I was. But she looked at me and saw something that I had always known was there but had forgotten because of the depth of despair I always felt. So she took me apart, put me back together, and told me that if I kept ticking on, I'd eventually find the path I want to be on. She was honest, but hopeful. And she believed in me. I felt that. It was nice for someone to feel that way about me and my talents. It felt nice for someone to support me and understand where I was coming from without being judgmental.
